(Part 3) POOR ME: It Wasn’t Because I Was Beautiful

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“I woke up the following day with a headache, the aftereffect of too much wine I guess, I said to myself as I gazed at the beautiful sunrise from the hotel window.  It was at this point I realized we were both naked in bed with her arms wrapped around me.

What happened?  Wait, it wasn’t a dream? What have I gotten myself into? ” in the previous episode

I quickly looked around for my clothing because I was naked, immediately I turned she kissed me good morning. What the hell is wrong with this lady, I asked myself. I quickly got up and dressed up. Won’t you take breakfast, I heard her yell as I closed the door behind me.

I Can’t Believe This Is Happening to Me

I rushed to my car and sat in to think about everything that had happened. Everything that happened the previous night flashed back to me. So this was real? I could now recall every single moment as I began having mixed feelings at that very moment. This cannot be happening to me. I couldn’t think straight, so I then decided to order a ride home, I didn’t know what to do.

I couldn’t tell my friends what I had just done because I felt they would be judgmental. So lesbianism is real? I only see them in movies and thought it’s an act of fiction.

As much as it felt good and with the mixed feeling I had, I had a few scratches down below. So I decided to go see a gynaecologist because I have no idea what was used on me. Whatever that was, it felt so good.  God being so good, the gynaecologist, declared me fine with no infections.

She Must Stay Away From Me

She must stay away from me, I said to myself. Later that afternoon I went to the restaurant where she worked to tell her to stay away from me. Whatever it was that happened between us was a mistake but I froze when I saw her smile once again.

I immediately turned to leave when I heard her shout my name. I stood but didn’t turn to look at her, and then she said, “your phone”. That was when I realized I didn’t have my phone on me all this while. What!!, It’s been two days.

I took my phone from her and thanked her. “I know”, she uttered just when I turned to leave so I stood still with my back turned. You know what? I murmured.

“I know you are new to this, I can help you if you give me the chance. This whole thing can be very confusing, please let me help you” she said.  I left without saying a word, I need to pretend nothing happened so I can move on in life.

I dared not to have lunch in that restaurant again just to avoid her.

Not A Same-Sex Lover “BUT!”

In other to clear my conscience and be sure I haven’t become a same-sex lover, I decided to give men a chance again. But I realized I wasn’t sexually attracted to men anymore. I felt so uncomfortable when they got close to me. The only thing I could crave for was whatever was used on me that night more.

I gave the excuse I was living a chaste life and wouldn’t want to have sex again until marriage. Well, I knew I hadn’t found what I was looking for. This encounter got me addicted to pornography, masturbation and the use of toys and strange objects to sexually satisfy myself.

I Found My Man

Men continued to walk in and out of my life since I wouldn’t get intimate with them. I finally met someone who was a strong Christian. He believed it was wrong to have sex before marriage and he had everything a woman would want in a man. He was strong, intelligent, feared God, had respect for women and everyone and supported the poor and needy.

We became very good friends until he proposed. I was scared of being judged by him and losing him. I wanted to, I tried to tell him everything, everything from the day I met my demon, what exactly happened and what it had led me into.

He thought I was genuinely living a chaste life after I had given my life to Christ. But I kept that part of my life hidden. I manage to tell him everything I have been going true except that particular encounter. Just as he told me everything about himself, I got to know his family and friends apart from that one female bestie of his whom I never got to meet.

Two years passed and here I was preparing to get married. As the wedding day got closer, I wondered how I was going to deal with my challenges in bed and how I would satisfy myself since I won’t be having the privacy I need any longer.

This Can’t Be Happening, She Showed Up Again As a Grooms Woman

Everything was going well until the day I met his groomsmen. Well, the groomsmen and grooms woman, they weren’t just men but a lady was among them.

Meet Henrietta, the lady bestie I’ve been telling you about said my husband-to-be. What!! this can not be happening, Screaming out loud in my head.

He had mentioned her name a few times but it didn’t occur to me that it could be the same demon I encountered some years ago.

I had buried the encounter so deep that I hadn’t told my fiancé about it. She gave me a wink and a hug. How am I going to explain this to my fiancé? What if she tells him? (to be continued)

Question for discussion

  1. What could possibly be happening to the writer at this stage of her life?
  2. Would you have come even with your husband on this matter?
  3. Do you this the husband-to-be knows her bestie, Henrietta is a lesbian?

 

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(Part 2) POOR ME: It Wasn’t Because i Was Beautiful

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