The road to a long life journey with people we love can be a scary thing to talk about sometimes. Living together, being in a relationship and getting married is never to compare. They are the necessary build-up processes that make a long-lasting marriage life a better one to talk about.
In our episode, today on ‘What do you think about marriage’ is a story from an anonymous wife from the Upper East Region of Ghana. Let’s discover how lovely it was married, how it is in marriage and off cos what you need to get a wife from her people.
What was your thought on marriage before you got married?
So before I got married I think I just felt like marriage was between two people who really love themselves.
Two people who come together and build something for themselves. That was what I felt marriage was all about before I got into it.
Marriage has its own upside issues along the line and others we have heard about other married people. Of course, these happenings, it what make a marriage.
It’s about how you two communicate to make things better between yourselves. That is what I thought about marriage.
What is marriage like now?
I think I’m barely less than a year in marriage now. I feel marriage is all about understanding. The love is there and so the friendship.
But you know De. Once you get married, you live in the same house with your partner. One might trigger another in a way you might not be happy and the misunderstanding and all that.
So far it has been all about understanding each other, communicating well and trying to solve our issues ourselves.
Traditionally, how was your marriage rite performed?
De, I’m from the Upper East Region of Ghana and I’m a Frafra by Tribe. For my clan, what we do is that the man will present himself three times the woman family.
In his first coming, this is where he officially introduce himself to the family of the woman as a potential man for their daughter.
The man is expected to bring some cola nuts, some tobaccos and some guinea fowls. They wouldn’t tell you the number you should come with. The number you bring depends on how much you value the woman you want to marry.
In his second coming, he is to come with his family. He, along with his family are also expected to come with some tobaccos and some guinea fowls.
His family then introduce themselves and make known their intentions and then ask for the marriage list.
After they have received the marriage list, they then go to prepare and come back for their wife.
On their third coming, they come in prepared with all that was requested in the marriage list. The list may vary depending on the clan the woman is coming from. But I know mine included a Dog, a Sheep or a Goat depending on what the family demands, and 3 cattle. For the cattle, other clans do take 4.
And not forgetting the soul of the marriage, the cock. The cock is the marriage, it signifies that you have come for their daughter. And in the future when anything happens and in the marriage and you are no longer interested in the woman, the cock is given back to the grooms’ family to dissolve the marriage.
What does a cock mean to you, your region and your tradition?
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