I have sinned against God, Against my wife and my family. I feel so horrible and ashamed. Worst part is, now I think the devil is tormenting me for my sins.
What started as a normal end of year staff party has now become a regular torment to my evenings. We had our annual end of year staff party late December and it was really fun, it didn’t happen last year due to Covid-19 so our HR department made sure this time it was lit.
Usually, the Senior Management are allowed to come with their spouses. Since it was also the send off for our long-serving staff, some board members were also present. My MD invited his wife to the party and she came with her Driver.
In the midst of the fun and partying, apparently, My boss’s wife’s driver went to hide somewhere and took alcohol. From what I gathered after, it was quite a lot of alcohol so when it was time for him to take madam back, MD could smell the alcohol from his breath and he engaged him to park some things into the car.
He didn’t take it lightly. He got angry and handed him to the head of fleet for sanctions. This is where I got involved in all of this. As a trusted staff who has rising through the ranks to my current line manager role , was asked to take madam home as MD had to stay with the Board a bit more.
She is a woman I have had a few engagements with in the past, whenever I had to run occasional errands for my MD and to be honest I really respect her.
Simple task, innocent mind, but the devil had plans, as we drove home through the evening traffic, my boss’ wife who had obviously had some alcohol was all elated and chatty throughout the drive. When we got to the El-Wak traffic light, an Okada almost run into us and in a brief moment of panic, she accidentally grabbed the upper side of my thigh.
Her little finger felt the head of my manhood. She repulsively said sorry and took it off. There was a brief moment of awkward silence. She burst out into laughter and said in Plain words “you are huge”. I was disorganized in my thought as it was very unexpected but in my head I felt proud.
He had other complimentary words for me. I could not utter a word as she kept on making fun of me and my size. She asked for my number and saved it as Xxxx (my name) Timber. I don’t want to lie that from that moment on, bad ideas started running through my mind. And I felt my manhood responding to the thoughts.
When we got to their house, I honked for the domestic workers to come open the gate and take some hampers which we picked from the office into the house. I realized the gate was now the automated sliding type. Madam went ahead to let me know that per their norm. They give all the domestic workers a break around the Christmas season and send the kids to their in-laws. So basically, we are alone in the house. She went upstairs while I sent the first hamper in.
By the time I sent the 3rd and last hamper, she had gone to change and was downstairs. I could feel the intent and strangely, I felt led to pursue. Madam came close and said she had put off the cameras. From there the unthinkable happened. My long years of fidelity and keeping my marital home Holy was exchange for 10 minutes pleasure on the couch in the living room. What I dreaded most had happened.
I have broken my marriage vow and had sex outside of my 5 year old marriage and It was with my boss’ wife.
I ordered an Uber home with so much guilt and shame, I could hardly look at my wife when I got home. Thank God it was late. Now when I slept, I had a dream that my boss’ wife was sleeping with me and woke up to see a discharge.
That was my first ever experience after I had this in my Secondary School days. Now this had become a trend with my sleep cycle.
I see someone sleeping with me in my dreams. The face is either my madam or someone I don’t know or I don’t get to see their face at all. This is making me scared of sleeping. I have started staying up late. I have confided in my Pastor and he says I need to come with the woman for spiritual cleansing. But can’t disclose the whole story as my pastor is friends with my boss.
I have visited another Man of God who preaches on radio and he also said the same thing. He says the Woman is under bondage spiritually and I have gone to tag myself along, I can’t even think of going back to madam to ask her to pray or go see a Pastor.
Now, I realized I have lost affection for my wife. I don’t even get erection when I get close to her. This is the longest time we have gone without sex as a couple and I keep the excuse that I’m having a spiritual exercise.
How do I get myself out of this demonic web? How do I get to love my wife again? Is this the spiritual marriage I hear about always? Please help.
How am I going to fix this broken pen?